It is with a heavy heart, but also a sense of relief, that I have decided to take an early exit from Teach for China. I will be teaching through the end of this semester (sometime in mid-July) but will not be returning for a second year.
This was an incredibly difficult choice, primarily because I have grown to care about my students and I wish that I could stay and teach them. It's almost irresistible the way some of my students light up when I talk to them. Or when they learn a word they particularly like. Almost. But the visa situation, the subsequent changes within the organization, the lack of teaching support, and the lack of incoming American fellows have all combined to convince me to leave.
I've talked to many of you over the past few months and you've heard me wrestling with this decision. It was helpful to talk through it over and over, so thank you. One friend helped me a lot by pointing out that "continuing" for another year was really less like continuing the program I'd signed up for, and more like signing up for another year of a different program. And that program is not one that I would have signed up for in the first place.
So although I am extremely thankful for this past year, and am so glad that I did sign up for this, I have decided not to return. I don't yet know when I'll be home or what I'll do when I get there, but I look forward to seeing many of you at some point.
So many people here have asked me to stay another year, too. I understand the feeling of having all these people you love want you to stay but still not wanting to. Of course, our situations are not the same. But I learned that they will not be placing another American in my town next year (despite me having accrued more students than all the others combined) and so maybe it's more similar than it would have been. I've already decided to stay an extra month. But I just can't stay...
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Sounds like a wise decision, Gita. Your friend's reasoning was insightful. One point: this may not be the last opportunity to teach underprivileged students. The future holds lots of years yet. Personally, I'll be happy to have you home and to see you this summer.
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